My Grandmother passed away a week and a half ago. When my Mom asked me to write a eulogy, I realised that I didn’t actually know my Gran very well. Of course the result of this epiphany is that I started with the inevitable beating up of self. After berating myself for not taking the time and realising that the never was time, sounds strange, but my gran was always busy...anyhow, I decided to rather look at this space from a silver lining perspective.
Our grandmothers grew up and lived in a time so phenomenally different to ours that when we think about their lives we can probably not really comprehend what they had to deal with. They come from a time where divorce was seldom if ever an option. Being financially independent was unheard of and having a career or focusing on themselves wasn’t even thought of.
Then I looked at our reality today and realised how blessed we are. We can study whatever we want to, we can have the careers we choose. We can marry whomever we please and divorce them if we want to. In a nutshell we can be our authentic selves in all aspects of our lives. And here the second epiphany hit me. Are any of us really true to who we are as women?
Speaking from my own experience, my answer would have to be a resounding no! I read a great quote on a friend of mine’s facebook page today: “We sabotage because we forget who we really are”. This isn’t about having a pity party for one, it’s about actively acknowledging that from a spiritual and emotional perspective we are starting to realise and accept that there is more to what we can do as women that what our society actually allows. I think that if one more person tells my daughter that Spiderman is only for boys I might just have a Freddy Kruger moment! Why is it that in a time were we have the phenomenal opportunity NOT to shove our children into square boxes, we continue to perpetuate this travesty?
So what am I going to do about this? Continue to teach my daughter that she has the right to be who she is. That she has the right to express herself in a constructive manner and the right to be heard. That she has the right to develop her skills and talents in a manner that will allow her to live a purposeful and productive life...am I walking the talk?
Yes & no...so I’ve set myself this challenge and I extend it to everyone who reads this article, and am in the process of answering the following questions for myself, giving myself as mush time as I need to find the answer that is right for me:
- Where am I right now? (Using a Life Wheel helps with this process)
- Have I set reasonable, achievable goals for myself?
- Why am I not currently achieving my goals?
- What can I do to set better goals for myself?
- What is my true passion in life?
- Does my current behaviour mirror my passion?
- What can I do to be more authentic?
I think that will do for now.
Of course I have to keep reminding myself that goals are not written in stone and that as life progresses and I know myself better I will be changing these goals to be more authentic.
Thank you Granny for being the catalyst to me being more aware and able to take the next step.
