| Website
Tools |
| |
| Build
your Business |
| |
| Your Lifestyle |
| |
| Members
Only |
| |
| Shopping Mall |
| |
| Joint Venture Partners |
| |
| Login |
|
  |
|
|
I am suffering from Post-Natal Depression (PND).
It has taken me 11 months to admit to this. There is some sort of stigma attached to any form of depression, which makes it unsafe for people to be open about what is really going on with them. Particularly for mothers.
During my 11 months of silence, I did a lot of research on depression in an attempt to help myself. In South Africa there is not much support for “new” mothers, in particular from the community. In Europe, the hospital or clinic where you birth at arranges a “Birthing Group” for moms who give birth at around the same time. You get together once a week and just chat and share stories and advice and support one other. How awesome is that!
I feel that in SA, you get all the support while you are pregnant but once baby is out, you are sent off with a little bag of samples, a florist of flowers and told to go and “be a mother”. For the first few weeks eager friends and family pop around with yet more flowers, gifts, meals and endless advice, but the novelty soon wears off for them and they return to their lives, leaving us alone to be mommy to a beautiful, screaming infant. No wonder we suffer from PND!
What is Depression?
According to Health24.com “Depression, which must be distinguished from sadness or “the blues” is a common and legitimate medical illness. Everyone feels down or low at some stage, but when these lows last for long periods and affect general functioning and behaviour the person may be suffering from a Depressive Disorder.”
Depression is an illness, not a mood which you can just “snap out of”. You can no more snap out of depression than you can snap out of a cold or bronchitis. Depression is a very dark, lonely and frightening place to be, and you often feel as though no one understands.
PND can also be brought on by a traumatic birth experience. For me, I had planned to have my son naturally in water. Unfortunately my son didn’t share my wishes and he was born 3 weeks early by an emergency cesarean with his cord wrapped around his neck. His lungs weren’t working by themselves yet and he had to spend a week in NICU. The first time I was allowed to hold him was the day after he was born. I was devastated and very quickly spiraled downwards into a very bleak depression.
But get this, there doesn’t need to be a reason why it has happened. The reality is, you are suffering and you need support.
How do you know if you are suffering from PND?
Some of the typical symptoms of PND are:
Tiredness – sleeping more than usual
Emotional – cry easily, often irrationally
Irritability / moodiness
Feeling of worthlessness / helplessness / out of control
Fear of hurting yourself or your baby
Scared to be alone or alone with your baby
Feeling of gloom / despair
Being short-tempered / “grumpy” more often than usual
Low self-esteem / lack of interest in your appearance
Loss of sex drive
Change in appetite
Feelings of guilt or not feeling good enough
How you can help yourself (and Empower yourself):
Have a plan!
Tell people what is going on with you. This is the first, and most difficult step to take, but also the most self-empowering. The people closest to you want to support you, but they just don’t know how. Particularly men – they have a need to “fix” things. Show them this article.
Anti-depressants. This may not work for everyone and it took me 11 months to agree to take them. I find that they give me the platform to behave “normally” and they take the edge off my irritability. They allow you to deal with your depression.
Treat yourself. Spoil yourself once a week. Leave baby with dad or someone you trust and go for a manicure, breakfast with a friend, a new haircut. Every week have something to look forward too - this is essential.
Befriend other moms. I have started having coffee with my next-door neighbour (she has two young sons), in the hope of it developing into a friendship. Only another mom can appreciate what it takes to be a mom.
Eat a healthy diet; take a vitamin supplement and do some form of exercise. Don’t overdo it and become a “Health Freak”, but take care of your body. I still take my pregnancy vitamins and I try take my son for a 15 minute walk every day. Eat fruit and vegetables every day.
Have a good nights sleep/rest. Not always easy with a new baby in the house. When you have time to yourself, rest. The dishes, the cooking, the washing, the ironing CAN wait!
Avoid alcohol/recreation drugs and cigarettes. They just make you feel worse. A glass of wine now and then is okay but don’t overdo it.
Routine. Try get into some form of routine – you will feel as though you are getting control back again. It doesn’t need be rigid.
Join a support group or a moms and babies group. I go every week to my Top Tots© group and I look forward to going with all the excitement of a two-year-old going to the zoo for the first time!
Time out with your partner. You need time away from the baby together, even if it is just a few hours – you need that time. It was just the two of you before baby came along, and once baby is all grown up and leaves to start his own life, it will just be the two of you again – nurture that relationship.
And remember this: You are not alone and what you are feeling is “OKAY”. You deserve to be loved. You deserve to be a mother. You will heal.
If you are interested in becoming part of a support group for Mothers suffering with Post-Natal Depression, please email me at
This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it
{Disclaimer: I am a qualified Reiki II practitioner and not a medical Doctor. My article is meant as support to Mothers suffering from depression after the birth of their babies. I can only share my own experiences and view points. If you are uncertain about anything, please contact your Medical Professional immediately for further advice or treatment).
Source of article - Margaux is mother to one boy Keagan, 12 months old. Inspired by her own son, Margaux has decided to follow her life long dream of becoming a writer. Combining her love for her son and her passion for writing Margaux has been inspired to write articles for real mom's out there, in an attempt to support them with the daunting and often thankless job of being a mother, and a wife or partner. Motherhood is often glorified by magazines, books, TV commercials etc. and the reality is that motherhood is a REAL job and something which takes work and love and patience and energy, and is not some mystical fuzzy-wuzzy shrouded in a pink light. Margaux aims to enlighten mothers out there so that they know that they are not alone, and however they are feeling, is really ok.
Margaux can be contacted at -
This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it
|
|
|
|
