Ultimately, YOU are in control but with that comes consequences. You may decide to work long hours to fast track your career but the price to be paid is less time with your dependents. Alternatively you may choose to stay at home with your children and forego a potentially stimulating position. There is no right or wrong way, only the best way for you.

The real problem here is that women generally feel that they should be doing it all – working, mothering, caring, playing, nurturing, appealing etc. More significantly, we often use these roles to define ourselves. The key according to a successful businesswomen is recognising that “those are things that you do, not things that define you”.

A crucial area where women sabotage themselves is by constantly comparing themselves to their peers. Self criticism is levied for exercising less than your neighbour, for not keeping your house as beautifully as a friend or for not being available to your children as much as another mother.

Ratings take place against “everyone” else. Who are these “others”? Are you able to name one person who excels in all these fields simultaneously? Guaranteed, there are a number of people who may be more skilled or more available, but as a package, there are sure to be areas where the comparisons are faulty. Ditch the comparisons and acknowledge your strengths and skills. Revel in your capabilities rather than beating yourself up unnecessarily.

Furthermore, when problems arise, determine if you can influence the outcome. If there is nothing that you can do about it, stop worrying. Spend more time and energy on the things that you are able to influence.

Work – life balance requires a holistic approach tapping your spiritual, emotional and intellectual intelligences.

Spiritual intelligence encompasses your purpose. Is your lifestyle matching your life purpose? This will form the basis of your decisions and will aid your decision making. If you are not pursuing your ultimate purpose, it will be difficult to achieve true balance.

Secondly, your emotional quotient needs to be aligned. Do you have the right attitude and approach to your life? Are you positive and up-beat, able to accurately assess a situation and handle emotional issues maturely? If not, it is worth consulting a specialist for assistance in developing these attributes. Challenges will always arise, but your methods of dealing with them will contribute to your work – life balance, or lack thereof.

The intelligence quotient deals with the sensible, practical and intellectual means of implementing systems and strategies that will help you to attain work – life balance. These include:

1. Ensuring that you have a strong support network
This may be in the form of family, friends or domestic help. Give and take is a key determinant to securing a good support system. Be able to do both, often and willingly.

2. Delegate all those tasks that are not critical for you to do
Ask partners to help with the children, hire a student to do your household collections and deliveries and include the school lunches in your maid’s tasks even if it is just to partially prepare these before leaving for the day.

3. De-clutter your home
Ensure that you are able to find your things by getting rid of those that are no longer needed. It is wildly liberating to throw or give away all the things that you don’t need or use or which are broken. If necessary, get a professional organiser to assist you with this task.

4. Plan ahead
Shop monthly on the Internet, buying only perishables weekly. It takes time to set up but once done, can save you hours. Buy a number of special gifts, cards and wrapping at one time to keep for birthdays. Set aside time to do your budget. Get workable systems into place for your administration.

5. Keep a schedule
A good diary is invaluable to ensure a balance. Block off time for all the things that are important to you i.e. family time, exercise etc. so that these are not left to chance then commit to them.

Achieving a balance also requires being adaptable. Circumstances and priorities are constantly changing. It is important to be able to address each new situation appropriately and to remember that you have a choice in everything that you do. What you choose determines your life.

Annie Dillard sums this up, “How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives”. There is even a specialised school of coaching called “balance coaching” which is devoted to helping coachees to make powerful life choices and select experiences that they want most rather than dashing about at the mercy of circumstances.

Having established a sound model for work – life balance in your life, it is important to acknowledge that life is not perfect and there will always be challenging situations that threaten even the most organised, efficient and well – balanced people.

The key is to be able to adapt and to enjoy the moment.

Capture pockets of happiness wherever possible even if it is a baby’s smile in the midst of a sleepless night or a decadent coffee in the middle of a chaotic schedule – live life and enjoy it!

Source of article:
Claire Gatonby - Successful Business Woman and Mother of Two
Website: www.researchhouse.co.za